And in the meanwhile...

Girl 1: Imran khan is a strange dude.  He’s a good looking jamaati..

Girl 2:  Stop being so damned pessimistic, we finally have someone to believe in

Girl 1: But shouldn't you look at his policies and stuff?

Girl 2:  Erm..no, he is an honest and ethical man, a national hero…that’s enough

Girl 1: He’s against the drones..

Girl 2:  Good, so am I…?

Girl 1:  He thinks the military operation should stop in FATA..

Girl 2:  There’s a military operation ?

Girl 1:  You must visit cityxyz, its absolutely divine, the sights are delectable, and this hotel is so luxurious…blah blah blah....the men are dreamy, the nighclubs are dizzying…blah blah blah..

Girl 1: My maid is such a bitch…this is the third time she did not show up. 

Girl 2: So my maid left and this new one…she’s demanding Rs. 18,000 a month and I don’t think she realizes the going rate is like six!  What’s so special about her?

Girl 1:  By the way, LOVE what you are wearing

Girl 2: Thanks, its from khadi khaas..

Girl 1: Its outrageous how all these women are doing exhibitions and overcharging

Girl 2: Yes, but people have the money to spend..

Girl 1:  Ya, but if I am going to spend triple on something, it better have some embroidery.

Girl 1: I consider myself liberal and open minded, but talking about homosexuality in school is out of the question..

Girl 2:  I consider myself liberal and open minded, but this kid has no business taking history..

Girl 3:  I consider myself liberal and open minded, but talking about sex is not on…

Girl 4: I consider myself liberal and open minded, but men should pay for dates and open doors…its just chivalrous

Girl 1: Let’s meet at Butlers.

Girl 2: The standard has gone down..the service sucks.

Girl 1: But the chocolates are good.

Girl 2: Ok, then.

Girl 1: I caught my maid having sex with the cook.

Girl 2: That’s nothing, I caught my maid having sex with my husband

Girl 1: OMG, did you fire her sorry ass?

Girl 2: I will, but Eid is just around the corner and I need the extra help…

Girl 1: Where do you work out?

Girl 2: Shapes, You?

Girl 1: Personal trainer comes home.

Girl 2: Really.

Girl 1: Yes, you must try it. She does the work out for you.

Mama to maid:  Why did you get him these noodles?  He does not eat noodles.  Now you eat them, fool!

20 minutes later

Come on beta, say thank you to aunty for the lovely party.

Beta kicks aunty in the shin.

Baby 1: Let’s play teasing the maids, It’s the best game..

Baby 2: But what about hide and seek?

Baby 1: Okay, then let’s play hiding from the maids!

Girl 1: I give charity, but these people are just so irresponsible with their money.

Girl 2: Ya, but why not give them fair wages?  You take back more from them because they work at your poppa’s factory at below minimum wage?

Girl 1: You communist bitch, you doom and gloom fascist, you killer of hope, why can’t you just be happy?

Girl 1: It’s inspiring how so many young people are doing social entrepreneurship with the poor.

Girl 2: Oh.. you mean finding ways to make money off poverty..like micro-finance  and stuff?

Girl 1: You communist bitch, you doom and gloom fascist, you killer of hope, why can’t you just be happy?

Aunty 1: Have you seen all those prostitutes on Zamzama?

Aunty 2: So immoral.  You’d think marriage had gone out of fashion.

Aunty 1: Speaking of which…you heard about the three proposals my daughter received…

Aunty 2: Ya, go with the banker.

Party Girl: I really like partying like any other girl, and honestly, I drink only to get myself in the mood, but if someone insults my religion, I will kill them…I swear I will…

Girl 1: I think I need to order some more morning after pills…ran out.

Girl 2: Hate when that happens.

Girl 1: Ya, don’t you also just hate it when the teacher does not give namaz break?

Girl 1: Keep a separate menu for the maids and drivers…cheap stuff like samosas

Girl 2: Why?

Girl 1: Because, if you keep nuggets and sausages, they will attack…

Girl 2: Oh..(thoughtfully)

Man: It’s not that I don’t speak Urdu, its just that I got into the habit of speaking English with him.  I don’t want him to speak Urdu like my cousins..

Girl 1: Musharaff was great…things were so much better then..

Girl 2: Ya, but he sodomized the nation, sold out its people…

Girl 1: Ya, but things just seemed better…

Girl 1:  Hurry quick, these men are following us..

Man: Where are you ...Tauheed?

Men who were following: Baji, aap ka dupatta…

Teacher: Contract law is really just about old, white businessmen asserting a certain world view and making rules that favor them and their economics

Student:  Don’t you think that is a bit biased?

Teacher:  Son, I’m just trying to save your sorry ass from being shot when the revolution comes.