aussies ka zibahkhana and our edification

We are still reeling from the cruel and anti climactic Aussie CRICKET victory.  The team that has been called retarded, unpredicatable, not toilet trained MADLY worked their retarded unpredictable magic and scored 191 runs and then defended it with drool dripping down their retarded chins (and diapers) - and a little bit of passion and a belief that we can terminate the terminators.  Those darned Australians with arms thick as tree trunks -- with the professionalism of Germans -- with the structure of a sophisticated military -- with so much muscle mass there'd be enough kangaroo curry to feed a small nation.  With teeth so big, they could bite through a coconut, husk and all.  And to top it the bitter reality - a Facebook status update that says it all:

We fucking owned the match all the way through but the last 5 minutes.   So fucking unfair.  I'm going to slap the next person who posts a happy status.

And who the hell cares if Aussies win anyway?  A bunch of overly tanned people on the Sydney beach.  Red noses and peeling skins.  People who get maternity leave and severance pay from their alienating jobs.  And clearly, I have no cultural depth about Australia, so allow me the vague and simplistic references. 

But here we are, a nation of 16 crore.  A  nation of people - of riksha walas and cabbies, working corn on thelas, building redundant flyovers, peering at tv screens in homes and through the windows of elite restaurants.  People who need a break from constant power shut downs and stifling humidity.  People who could spend the rest of their evenings in 2010 with a poster outside press club that reads.  MEHENGAI.  (Inflation.)  For heavens' sake we are even genetically compromised with all the cousin marriages.

And then my friend, Sanjeev, whom I admire, for his ability to consume non fiction like the blob in Monsters v Aliens absorbs concrete slabs.  He cites Chomsky's critique of sports viewing.  We all know sports viewing is utterly jingoistic and inane, and pointedly distracts us from the main problems of our society.  Patriotism is a concept that can be deconstructed by anyone who has take high school sociology.  Chomsky accurately, yet predictably:
Take, say, sports -- that's another crucial example of the indoctrination system, in my view. For one thing because it -- you know, it offers people something to pay attention to that's of no importance...... But the point is, it does make sense: it's a way of building up irrational attitudes of submission to authority, and group cohesion behind leadership elements -- in fact, it's training in irrational jingoism. That's also a feature of competitive sports. I think if you look closely at these things, I think, typically, they do have functions, and that's why energy is devoted to supporting them and creating a basis for them and advertisers are willing to pay for them and so on.

Its NOT that we are now marching to the tune of the army --singing Pak sar zameen Shaad baad -- And reinvigortaing our support for the military operations in FATA and Swat -- saluting the bastard progeny of Zia and Mush.  People are not apathetic to the drones and the warfare up north - but simply lack the structure and institutions to voice their protests in a way that matters. To us a win against the big white Aussies is perhaps a way of saying - that irrespective of the imperialist design, the ensuing economic chaos and our perceived apathy , we still got enough RAW talent in us to give a big whacking to you.  Take someone else's post, slightly problematic sexually, yes...

CHAKKAAAAAAA - holy shit - we are doing the unbelievable - beating the best team, pulled down their pant and smacking their booty GIMME MORE

Where the bitch becomes the dominatrix.

Also, sports in Pakistan is not AS institutionalized in to the nation's psyche (and the planned oblivion) as it is in America (and as IPL aspires) -- where grown men on wall street bet on their football teams - and men watch football baseball basketball en masse often to the exclusion and derision of women - where Title IX and DORA are needed to get little girls to play soccer.  Where ads are more smoothly and subliminally choreographed into the game.

We are only building up to that corporate ugliness.  We curse the biscuit ads.  We hate zong.  But sadly, our girls do not even play soccer.  Yet a girl from the slums will sprint like a winner and remind us yet again of that crazy untapped talent.

However I have to say, Chomsky is correct to some extent.  Regardless of our underdog- beaten into submission and apathy - droned out- need a breath of fresh air so so badly - phenomenon.  We need some introspection.

We invoke Allah in cricket.  We converted a Christian cricketer and made him grow and itchy beard. (after subjecting him to water torture in the locker room.)  So much for diversity.  We constantly dismay the fans by shoddy performance backed by amateurish zeal.  The fans thus sway from enthusiastic love to vicious invective.  And as S said, our cricket team is a microcosm for what Pakistan itself has become. And almost everyone in Pakistan must see the irony of standing behind a PAKISTANI team when Baluchistan is (rightfully) ready for full autonomy, and our own army deems it fit to allow  foreign powers to bomb areas -- to supplement their own killings of alleged militants.

So perhaps the solution is not to banish cricket from our lives - but to use this moment of learning to assess how patriotism should not be blinding. It should not be a baseless bursting of hormones about some stupid concept of nationality.  (A principal of a reputed girls preschool was rumored to say: Girls do not need too much space.)

Let the girls kick some balls and sprint.  Lets tell those columnists who think we appreciate drones - that we really are sending metaphorical chakkas their way  Lets start with some critical pedagogy.  We can find cricket emancipatory, so lets do Baby steps.

Respect diversityEncourage girls into sports at every level.  (money!!)Say Jinnah is (still) better than wahabism (in the lockers)Put Afridi in a museum.  He represents ALL that is wrong with Pakistani cricket in a microcosm.Cricket schools all over the place.Train like crazy.  

And Protest the drones - instead of acquiescing to authority and eating Nandos after a loss.

As Chomsky says.  

And in fact it's striking to see the intelligence that's used by ordinary people in [discussions of] sports [as opposed to political and social issues]. I mean, you listen to radio stations where people call in -- they have the most exotic information [more laughter] and understanding about all kind of arcane issues. And the press undoubtedly does a lot with this.

USE that intelligence.  Enough preaching.  We Did well.  Thanks to be Allah.  Be proud.